Still holding on at 14dpo

I have decided I am not testing today. I know that most women know if they are preggers or not by 14dpo but I'm not sure if I would get an accurate result.
Some weird stuff has been happening, let me explain. On Monday (12dpo)& Tuesday (13dpo) I had cramping pains mostly all day, I even had this weir crampy feeling in my left leg, it was really uncomfortable. It felt like period pains, so I was suspecting that AF could be on her way. However my temps still remain high and I'm beginning to wonder if my thermometer is working - I get the same reading more or less everyday.

Yesterday I had some dark reddish and brownish discharge coming through, also when I wiped after using the loo it was pinkish the first time and more brownish subsequent times. I never usually experience spotting before my periods, I usually get full flow right away. After spending some time on google, I read that it could actually be implantation spotting from when the fertilised egg is burying into my lining. They say implantation can happen anytime between 6dpo and 12dpo, with the usual average being 9dpo. Could it be possible that I implanted really late about 12dpo and I had some implantation spotting yesterday. If this is the case, I wouldnt be worth me doing a Hpt until Saturday, which is 18 dpo. Actually FF has me down as AF starting on Saturday as I usually have long cycles with quite a long luteul phase.

If my AF comes before that, I will know that is is just spotting before AF comes, this is my first time on a clomid cycle, so this may be a side effect for me. As my temps are still up, I still have some hope that maybe I implanted late and I could still get a bfp. My breasts are still sore, but not as much as before, maybe the progesterone is slowly starting to decline.

Do any of you know of anybody who had a late implantation but still managed to get a bfp that lasted? I think I need some encouragement.

Later xx

CD 48 update ( and fertility nurse appointment )

As the title suggests, I'm on cd48- another long ass cycle, but I have not been obsessing over this cycle, I have just let it run it's course without stressing about it too much. At the beginning of my cycle I was quite focused on making sure I complete a full cycle of temping and monitoring my CM. I also started using OPK's around cd15. You will be disappointed to know that amidst all the positive encouragement from you ladies,I still managed to stop temping and stop doing the OPK's. I know, I gave up and I shouldn't have. I'm just one of these people who easily get de- motivated when I don't see results soon enough. Actually I think it's more the fact that I'm not disciplined enough - or so my husband tells me. The last temp I charted was on cd30 and the last opk I did was on cd34, then I just threw in the towel as I knew it was going to be another drawn out cycle.

Anyway, I did start noticing my cm get a little stretchier and more eggwhite around cd34 and this continued for a few days, so I was thinking that maybe I'm ovulating. To be honest I should have really made sure I was temping and doing OPK's to confirm this but I was too lazy. It's also really hard to do OPK's when you get home late from work, there is no way i could do it at work either.

Unfortunately, we did not BD at all around the time that my cm appeared to be fertile, and this was due to me feeling unwell, drained, tired and hubby and I were not on the best terms anyway. By this time I was just looking forward to my appointment with the fertility nurse that had been set up at my last FS appointment back in January.

So I went to the hospital to see the nurse last week Thursday 16th feb, which was cd39 for me and to be honest i was excited to hear what she would say, hoping and praying she would just give me clomid and glad that I would jot have to undergo any invasive scans or anything.

By the time my appointment came along, in my heart of hearts I knew that I probably ovulated in the past few days and that we had missed our opportunity for this cycle, I had a very very slight tender feeling in my breasts which I only normally get when my AF is getting ready to show up.

So the nurse basically told me that my HSG report was normal and the next step was for me to go on 50mg of clomid for 3 months. She was very positive about it and said that she felt this would work for me, if not we could increase the dose. I was really happy as you can imagine.
She gave me the prescription then and there for 3months worth of clomid and also the trigger shot.

She said I could start immediately and I did not have to wait for my period but first they would need to do a scant check my uterus lining was thin, apparently you can only start when the lining is thin, if the lining is thick they can give you provera to make it shed and then you can begin. So she asked me to come in the following morning to get the scan done to check my lining. In my head I was thinking that my lining probably would be slightly thick as ovulation had happened and my period would probably come in about 2 weeks so it might make sense to wait for it. Anyway I did not say anything as there was a small chance that I could be wrong. The nurse said that once I start taking it I would need to come back a few days after my last dose to check if any eggs were maturing and to possibly get a trigger shot to make me ovulate. If there were no mature eggs I would need to come back a few days later to do another scan to check. She said I would also need to use the clearblue smiley face OPK's around that time and once get a positive to BD that morning, night and following morning. She said it must be the smiley face ones. In my mind I w thinking how I would manage to get all this time off work to come for scans without anybody knowing the Eason why.

Then suddenly I remembered that me and hubby are travelling for 10 days on the 9th march, how would we make all the appointments, so I told her and she advised that we should start the clomid when we get back. I will have to go in for a scan to check my lining and then start according to the result of the scan. I know that my period is going to come before then as my boobs are so sore and have doubled in size - hubby loves it!!!! I was right, I did ovulate when I say my CM get stretchier.

So the plan now is to call the nurse on CD1(which should be very soon) and here what she suggests, she did say that i might be able to start it while I'm away and then I could have a scan done to check for mature eggs as soon as I get back from our trip. So as it stands I don't really know when we are going to start the clomid, we will just have to play it day by day.

I must say that I feel quite positive about the clomid, even though she did say that it may take a while to have an effect, due to pcos. I have been reading loads of success stories online and they are really uplifting. Here's the link if you want to read a few.

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/199983-clomid-success-stories-please/AllOnOnePage

Phewww, this is a long post, I'm really sorry I should have been updating more regularly. If any of you have any clomid stories, good or bad, please share them. I would love to hear them.

Everyday I keep looking at my clomid wondering when I am going to start, but it should be quite soon.
I hope I have not missed out anything important.

Take care ladies xx

Baby dust to all

Cycle day 25 update.......and confusion

This week has been a long week, mentally draining infact. In my last post I was excited to get 2positive OPK's, excited is an understatement to be honest. I promised to remain positive, which I did and I am - I think. DH and I BD'd around the days of the positive test to cover all bases, I think we did pretty well, apart from the day before my positive OPK which we did not BD on.
Since then I have been closely watching my temps, looking for a shift, but unfortunately I did not get any. My temps were a bit erratic for a few days and then they went real low, for the past 3 days my temp has been 96.76, usually my average temp is around 97.2 or something. At one point I was thinking my bbt had broken because i had the same temp for 3 days and they have been unusually low. Does the bbt not work in extremely cold weather or something - it's been absolutely freezing here for the past few days, unbearably cold in fact. How do people that live in Russia cope? It's like -20 over there.

Anyway, it seems as if i did not ovulate, it was just my shitty pcos body playing ovulation tricks on me again - totally not fair.

Also, for the past 2 days I have had a real creamy textured CM and I have noticed over the past 10 days or so that I tend to generally alternate between sticky and lotion type CM. Sometimes it has a tiny bit of stretch, but not clearly EWCM.

If anyone is reading this, do you think I should continue with the OPK's again? I might get a few positives before I eventually ovulate, I hate getting my hopes up only to find out I did not actually ovulate.

Please advise me, im a bit confused here and I'm at the point where I usually give upon my cycle and stop charting, but I promised I would see this cycle through even if it turns out to be 80 days long. I better stock up on more OPK's then.......ooops, where did the positivity go?


How are you ladies getting on?


Baby Dust to you all

TMI Alert - Cervical Mucus Analysis

Hi all, hope you are all enjoying the first day of the year.
DH and I are keeping it quite chilled today, and it got me thinking a bit about the things I want to improve on for this year. One of those things is analysing my cervical mucus. Some women seem to be so on top of this, but I really do struggle. I think I don't produce a lot of it to begin with so it is hard for me to monitor it without making a conscious effort to do so.

The three primary fertility signs are-
1.basal body temp
2.cervical mucus
3.cervical position

I generally suck at the other two, so I am going to try and focus on noting my cervical fluid. "Cervical fluid is to a woman what seminal fluid is to the man." Since men are always fertile, they continuously produce seminal fluid. Women on the other hand are only fertile the few days around ovulation, and therefore only produce the substance necessary for sperm nourishment and mobility during that time. Basically, sperm can only survive the fertile cervical mucus that is present around a woman's ovulation.. So the pattern is supposed to go like this-

• after AF there is generally no CM present, 
• then after some days you should start to notice sticky CM that could also be describes as pasty, tacky, crumbly. gummy, springy, or even cement like - its also usually white or yellowish.
• it then becomes more creamy, like a lotion, it may feel milky and smooth. It is usually quite wet, moist, gooey, or cold.
• soon after it should become slimy and slippery and resemble egg whites - it will stretch a few inches between your fingers, also it will be wet, lubricative, or even humid.
• immediately after ovulation you may notice nothing at all or a dry sticky CM

Some of you may have seen this already, but if not this will help.

So in my case, I have been trying to be more aware of these transitions, and I am planning to focus more on this, this year.I have heard somewhere that if you have PCOS it may not be so simple to read, as you notice eggwhite CM and do not eventually go on to ovulate (why does everything seem to be so difficult with PCOS?) In my last post I mentioned that I had notice a more fertile CM and was hoping that it means I ovulated - but who knows, at cd64 i'm clutching at straws here.

If any of you have any experience of this, I would love to hear about it, please let me know if this helped you in your journey at all. I have read about women who said they woke up swimming in eggwhites, they BD'd and a few weeks later, they were preggers.

Take care, and baby dust to all.