And the story goes.........

Time for a little break - CD6

So I'm taking a short break from the Clomid because I have to go away for a wedding, which will be during my fertile period, also, I'm going alone so I won't have the opportunity to babydance with hubby.

Here is an update video of how clomid round 2 ended.

Hope you're all well and good ladies, its been a while since I posted, it just doesn't come naturally to me when I get bad news. Sorry!

On Monday evening my SIL called to let us know she is now 10wks preggers with her second, of-course I am so happy for them, I know that the timing is right for them and that it's what they wanted. So now I have 2 SIL's that are pregnant and I'm still struggling to get a BFP. I am not feeling sorry for myself or anything, but I just wish it could be my turn too.

Anyway, thats it xxxx

Moving on to Clomid Cycle 2

Hi all, I have recorded an update video, it was filmed yesterday - today I am actually cd5 but it's all in the video anyway.
I just want to say hello to a couple of new subscribers I have noticed and also say a massive thanks to all the ladies who left comments on my blog, they were so amazing.

Baby dust to all xx

Clomid Cycle 1...............BFN

As the title suggests, today I got a bfn after testing.
I had a temp dip too down to 97.33 which is in the normal range of my pre-ovulation temps. TBH I don't really want to to go into detail about it yet, I'm so disappointed as I was so hopeful about this cycle.

I tested with a FRER and only had 1 pink line.

I just want to quickly thank all the ladies that left wonderful comments on my blog, those comments really helped to keep me hoping throughout this cycle, it was amazing.

I will probably go into more details in my next post, just not in the mood right now, but I thought I should let you all know seeing as you have been right there with me on this cycle.

Take care ladies xxx

Lara

9DPO Update

As much as I am happy to be experiencing the "2ww" it's such a difficult time, filled with noticing every single thing your body does and paying too much attention to things that could be simply a coincidence. My days and nights have been filled with google-ing all kinds of things 2ww-related. I've never experienced this before because I never know when I have ovulated to be able to calculate my 2ww. I take my hat off to the many women who go through this countdown every single month, it's truly a struggle.

The good news is that my bbt temps have consistently remained elevated (about 97.9 average). I was wondering if I should stop charting my temps as I don't want to get too caught up in the temps, it would be so difficult for me to watch my temps slowly decreasing, I think I would rather just wait for my AF to arrive or to get a BFP. I think tomorrow will be the last time I take my temp for this cycle. Actually, I would really appreciate you advice and suggestion on this ladies. Please let me know your thoughts.

So these have been my symptoms so far;

• 1dpo - normal
• 2dpo - slightly sore boobs
• 3dpo - slightly sore boobs, sticky cm
• 4dpo- sore boobs, sticky cm, slight nausea, twinges around my ovaries
• 5dpo - sore boobs, sticky cm
• 6dpo - sore boobs, slight nausea, twinges and niggles
• 7dpo - sore boobs, creamy cm
• 8dpo - sore boobs, creamy cm, twinges and niggles
• 9dpo- sore boobs, sore throat, sticky cm

I was wondering if I would have some spotting to indicate implantation, as some women notice, but I didn't see this, but fingers crossed I still implanted. I should have a good chance since I released 2 eggs, right?

Today the fertility nurse called to let me know the results of the progesterone blood test I took on 7dpo - result was 129nmol/l. This is ridiculously high, I have a large amount of progesterone in my body right now, quite considerably above the average range. Average range is 6.4-79.5nmol/L (equal to 2-25ng/mL) a week after ovulation. This sounded like great news to me but the nurse was quick to remind me that it does not mean I am pregnant and it has no relation to my chances of getting pregnant. Why couldn't she just let me have my joy for a moment?

I am due to test on Tuesday/Wednesday and I'm really hopeful and positive, I have been joking with my husband about twins over the last few days, I think he is seriously scared.

As I have spent numerous hours on google search, I was intrigued to know what happens in a woman's body between the time of fertilization and implantation. Apparently the zygote is in "free-flow" until it lands on the lining and implants, a few days later it will release the hcg hormone which can be detected by a pregnancy blood test, then a couple of days later, the hcg will be present in your urine. It's quite interesting to know all this things about a woman's body and makes me appreciate the miracle of human life, truly a testament to the awesomeness of God. This whole ttc experience has taught me so many things about my body.

If you would like to read a more detailed  account of implantation, I found the link below quite helpful.

http://www.early-pregnancy-tests.com/lutealphase.html

So I have 5 more days to test, I never want to be in this 2ww again. I don't even want to try to get pregnant. Anyway, I cant really complain, this clomid therapy has worked well for me so for, so fingers crossed for the ultimate finish hey!

That's it for now, God Bless xxx

Clomid mid-cycle scan results

So I had my ultrasound this morning to check the size of my follicles. This is what happened.

Clomid Update

I just wanted to put up a quick post about my experience of taking Clomid for the first time. As you know, I took it from day 2-6 and it would be fair to say that I have not had any strong side effects. I have had the occasional hot flash, but they only last a couple of minutes. I have not felt any pains or strains around my pelvic region I just hope that doesn't mean nothing is going on down there. I have not been really paying close attention to what's going on as hubby and I celebrated our 2year anniversary yesterday with a trip to Edinburgh. It was so good to get away and have some real quality time together without thinking about all these hormones. I'm going for my cd12 scan tomorrow to check the size of my follicles, hopefully they are growing nicely. I will update when I get back. I'm also going to start using OPK's tomorrow so I can detect my surge. That's it for now, sorry for the brief post, I'm just so tired from exploring Edinburgh over the last couple of days. Bye for now

DING DING.......Clomd round 1 begins

Hey beautiful supporters, I call you supporters because you guys are so supportive and help me get through the waiting upon waiting upon waiting. I really appreciate you all.

As the title suggests, I have started clomid, finally - after waiting for over a year and enduring test upon test and going to numerous appointments.

AF came yesterday, 9 days after my last provera pill, I thought it would come quicker than this but at least it's here now. So I called the RMU this morning and when the nurse called me back she told me start clomid today- I was rather surprised. First of all, I thought she would want me to come in for a scan before getting approval to start, and secondly I thought I would start on cd3,4 or 5. So I took my first dose around 8pm this evening after my dinner. I'm really happy I have finally started, I will be going in next thursday morning for a scan to check the size of my follicles.

One thing I have noticed, is that my AF is lighter than usual, this must be an effect of the provera. I usually have to change my tampon every 2 hours on cd1 & 2 and sometimes even double up with a pad. This one has been a lot lighter.

Also I have noticed that I gained weight whilst taking provera, I have not weighed myself but I can see and feel it, a few people have commented too. I will need to work on this because I have never been a size 10 in my life and I'm now borderline size 10, no bikini wearing for me when I go on my hols. My skin has also gotten worse, spots on my forehead and around the jaw line, I'm hoping this will clear soon though.

Oh yeah, I started temping this morning too so I will monitor my temps too.
Wish me luck for my first round of clomid.

Hugs

Provera x3

I'm really frustrated right now, I hate to start of writing this way but it just seems like every time I think I'm a little closer, I get moved steps back.

I called the nurses on Tuesday to let them know I was back from my trip and that I needed a scan to possibly get something to induce a period. The last time I was there, the nurse said I should call them if I don't get a period by the 27th of this month. I knew that would never happen so I just called them as soon as I got back.

So when the nurse called me back on Tuesday, she told me to come in for a scan today, and I was so happy that it was quick.

I have just left the hospital now, they scanned my uterus lining and measured the size of the eggs in my ovaries. After the scan was complete, the doctor told me that she would prescribe provera to take for 3 WEEKS, yes 3WEEKS. She went on to explain that due to the Easter break (when they would be closed) if I had a bleed they would not be able to do anything about it, so it would be better to take it for 3 weeks. This means by the times I have completed the 3 weeks and waited for the bleed to start, I'm looking at about 4 weeks minimum before I can start clomid. This sucks.

I asked her that would it have not made more sense to just have asked me to come in for the scan a few dys before they close and then only take provera for 1 week, she agreed but said that taking provera for 3 weeks is fine. Yes I agree, it's fine, but unnecessary.

So now I need to wait again, the waiting never ends.

I will take the first provera pill tonight and keep you updated of the side effects along the course.

If any of you have taken provera for this long, or know of anyone who has, I would really like to know how long it took for the withdrawal bleed to start.

Bests

Back to life, back to reality (cd22)

I always sing this song on the plane when I'm coming back from a holiday or trip, for some reason it just always comes to mind.


I'm back from my trip and the first thing on my mind is starting the clomid and my cycles. It's so funngy that while I was away I was not thinking about clomid or ttc or anything like that, I was just having fun with my family and friends. Spending time with my two cute nieces made me think that I would really like to have a girl first, it's amazing to see the personalities so evident at a young age, they amaze me. DH and I bought them a Nintendo Wii so we spent many evenings playing family games, and can't wait to experience the same with my own kiddies.

I think I would like to have 4 in total but we will see about that after having one FIRST. LOL!!!!!

So now that I'm back I'm going to call the fertility nurses and see if it is necessary for me to wait until cd29 before getting provera, as I know I would never have a period by then. Maybe I could just get a scan this week and then start the provera.

I'm happy to be back and back to focusing on getting pregnant but the break from temping, reading ttc blogs, and thinking about the whole ttc thing was great and I really need to enjoy my life and make the best of the time i have while I am not pregnant. Once I get pregnant I can never get this time of my life back again, as being a mother is a whole new life to adjust to. I need to enjoy the now, and not let ttc consume me, it will happen.


Oh, I'm loving this positive feeling I have right now,I'm feeling positive for all you guys out there too, let's stay positive together.

Hubby and I have opened a savings account dedicated to saving for the baby, we save anyway, but this will be baby specific. Do you guys save for a baby?

Take care guys

CD7 update & nurse appointment

Hey all, I'm on cd7 now and I have had a regular period so far. I saw the nurse on Wednesday (cd3) and had a transvaginal done. I also had some fertility hormone bloddtests as well as HIV,hep b, etc.
The transvaginal took about 20seconds and then she just told me start taking clomid that evening for 5 days and to come back for another scan on cd11. I was sooo happy and immediately started thinking about the possibility of it working on the first go and me being pregnant by the end of the month. That would be amazing.

I then asked her when my next appointment would be after the cd11 one, and she said it depended on how my body reacted but I would need to come for monitoring quite often as I have not taken it before. I then reminded her that I was travelling for 10 days and if I that would affect anything. She then told me that I could not start unill I begin my next period then, I told her that it could take up to 3 months to come again. So she said I should wait for 4 weeks and if period has not started then they would give me pills to bleed and then subsequently start the clomid.

I was so pissed you couldn't imagine, I was just so excited to start and then she killed my
excitement. I was thinking that they could scan me the day before I leave then I could start clomid while I'm away and then come back when my scan is due, but she wasn't happy with that. I guess I can't blame her for doing her job, she said it's only a month but that feels like year to me.

So I just have to be patient. I am not going to temp anymore as it just makes me too involved and I start worrying over every little thing. Just going to wait out the 4 weeks and prepare my body to eventually start clomid.


That's it for now, hope you guys are all ok.

Let me know what's going on with you.

God Bless

Back at One

Hey, as I was about to start writing I thought of the Brian McKnight song "Back at One" and it relates to my post because AF is here, yep that's right, CD1. But that song is such a great song, I used to have this song on repeat constantly. If you have not yard it before, go listen to it on YouTube.

So back to business, before I went to bed last night I went to the loo, and when I wiped I saw some pink - I immediately knew what was coming, so I put a sanitary towel on before I went to bed. I woke with full flow and lots of cramps.

When I saw the nurse she said I need to call on cd1, so I called today and left a message with their department. The nurse called me back later in the morning and booked me in for a transvaginal scan this Wednesday. She also told me not to take any clomid until they instruct me to. I will also need to take some blood tests for HIV,hep b,etc. I've had these tests already but they said I need to do them again because it was over a year ago and it's compulsory to have these tests done before having any fertility treatment.

So I'm wondering what will happen now, will I start now or have to wait till I get back fom my trip,at least I don't have to wait too long until Wednesday.

I'm slightly uncomfortable about having a transvaginal on cd3, my flow can be still slightly heavy at that time.

As I'm going to start clomid this cycle, I am going to make sure I'm taking my folic acid religiously, as well as vitamin b complex and evening primrose oil. I need to stock up on clearblue OPK's and I started temping again for this cycle.
Does anyone know if it's ok to take agnus castus along with clomid?, it helps with hormonal balance. Please let me know if you have insight.

God Bless

CD 48 update ( and fertility nurse appointment )

As the title suggests, I'm on cd48- another long ass cycle, but I have not been obsessing over this cycle, I have just let it run it's course without stressing about it too much. At the beginning of my cycle I was quite focused on making sure I complete a full cycle of temping and monitoring my CM. I also started using OPK's around cd15. You will be disappointed to know that amidst all the positive encouragement from you ladies,I still managed to stop temping and stop doing the OPK's. I know, I gave up and I shouldn't have. I'm just one of these people who easily get de- motivated when I don't see results soon enough. Actually I think it's more the fact that I'm not disciplined enough - or so my husband tells me. The last temp I charted was on cd30 and the last opk I did was on cd34, then I just threw in the towel as I knew it was going to be another drawn out cycle.

Anyway, I did start noticing my cm get a little stretchier and more eggwhite around cd34 and this continued for a few days, so I was thinking that maybe I'm ovulating. To be honest I should have really made sure I was temping and doing OPK's to confirm this but I was too lazy. It's also really hard to do OPK's when you get home late from work, there is no way i could do it at work either.

Unfortunately, we did not BD at all around the time that my cm appeared to be fertile, and this was due to me feeling unwell, drained, tired and hubby and I were not on the best terms anyway. By this time I was just looking forward to my appointment with the fertility nurse that had been set up at my last FS appointment back in January.

So I went to the hospital to see the nurse last week Thursday 16th feb, which was cd39 for me and to be honest i was excited to hear what she would say, hoping and praying she would just give me clomid and glad that I would jot have to undergo any invasive scans or anything.

By the time my appointment came along, in my heart of hearts I knew that I probably ovulated in the past few days and that we had missed our opportunity for this cycle, I had a very very slight tender feeling in my breasts which I only normally get when my AF is getting ready to show up.

So the nurse basically told me that my HSG report was normal and the next step was for me to go on 50mg of clomid for 3 months. She was very positive about it and said that she felt this would work for me, if not we could increase the dose. I was really happy as you can imagine.
She gave me the prescription then and there for 3months worth of clomid and also the trigger shot.

She said I could start immediately and I did not have to wait for my period but first they would need to do a scant check my uterus lining was thin, apparently you can only start when the lining is thin, if the lining is thick they can give you provera to make it shed and then you can begin. So she asked me to come in the following morning to get the scan done to check my lining. In my head I was thinking that my lining probably would be slightly thick as ovulation had happened and my period would probably come in about 2 weeks so it might make sense to wait for it. Anyway I did not say anything as there was a small chance that I could be wrong. The nurse said that once I start taking it I would need to come back a few days after my last dose to check if any eggs were maturing and to possibly get a trigger shot to make me ovulate. If there were no mature eggs I would need to come back a few days later to do another scan to check. She said I would also need to use the clearblue smiley face OPK's around that time and once get a positive to BD that morning, night and following morning. She said it must be the smiley face ones. In my mind I w thinking how I would manage to get all this time off work to come for scans without anybody knowing the Eason why.

Then suddenly I remembered that me and hubby are travelling for 10 days on the 9th march, how would we make all the appointments, so I told her and she advised that we should start the clomid when we get back. I will have to go in for a scan to check my lining and then start according to the result of the scan. I know that my period is going to come before then as my boobs are so sore and have doubled in size - hubby loves it!!!! I was right, I did ovulate when I say my CM get stretchier.

So the plan now is to call the nurse on CD1(which should be very soon) and here what she suggests, she did say that i might be able to start it while I'm away and then I could have a scan done to check for mature eggs as soon as I get back from our trip. So as it stands I don't really know when we are going to start the clomid, we will just have to play it day by day.

I must say that I feel quite positive about the clomid, even though she did say that it may take a while to have an effect, due to pcos. I have been reading loads of success stories online and they are really uplifting. Here's the link if you want to read a few.

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/199983-clomid-success-stories-please/AllOnOnePage

Phewww, this is a long post, I'm really sorry I should have been updating more regularly. If any of you have any clomid stories, good or bad, please share them. I would love to hear them.

Everyday I keep looking at my clomid wondering when I am going to start, but it should be quite soon.
I hope I have not missed out anything important.

Take care ladies xx

Baby dust to all

Cycle Day 1 ....... finally!

Thank the Lord.... you're ugly face is finally here, you are the most annoying thing in my life but boy am I glad to see you (maybe I should be a bit nicer and you will come more often). Ok, so lets start again, I'm so overwhelmed with joy to see this beautiful manifestation of feminine beauty, please visit me more often.

So CD1 is here again after 71 days, and you wont understand how relieved I feel. As with every new cycle, I am going to try and be disciplined with my temping and I may do OPK's from mid-cycle. As I said in previous posts, I will be checking my CM daily and I may even have a shot at checking my cervical position daily also.

As per usual I will be taking Folic Acid, Bcomplex, Vit C, Evening  Primrose and I am not really sure if I will take Agnus Castus, I took it for the first 30 days of this cycle but I will think about it.

Now that AF is here I can finally have my transvaginal ultrasound and HSG (super nervous). I phoned the fertility clinic today to let them know I was on CD1 and I am waiting for them to call me back with an appointment. I  also called the imaging department where the HSG will take place but they were closed so I will have to call them again in the morning. Hopefully I will have it done on the 16th  in time for my appointment on the 18th.
Finally I feel like maybe we can make some progress, I really believe that my tubes will show to be clear and if that is the case I will probably be prescribed Clomid. The problem is I may have to wait for a fresh cycle to begin and I am not sure  when that could be.

So stay tuned to find out how the transvaginal will go this week and I will try to give more regular updates with whats happening this cycle.

How are all of you? Let me know if you have any updates. Anybody on CD1 and want to be a cycle buddy?